Life and Times of Lewis the Bearded

I am Bear Demon, Apprentice boxplayer for Aelfgythe!

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It was the end of year pub crawl for South today …

And I was fortunate enough not to be at work today, so I went! Proud that I only had 2 half pints and I’m proud that I didn’t go off on o e at my ex, Jess. She pissed everyone off with her constant moaning about how she didn’t like the pubs we went to. When she left we all had a bitch about how she is rather controlling over her boyfriend, Tom.

But I digress. It was a fun night and I’m glad I went, even if I was a tad bored xD

161 notes

creedencewater:

thosefuckingangels:

oh my god so i can hear my neighbors fighting from the kitchen because they apparently left their window open and i’m dying here omg the wife just shouted “I USE A VIBRATOR BECAUSE YOUR DICK IS SO SMALL A SAFETY MATCH IS BETTER THAN YOU YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNT”

i can’t omg asjhfjshkdlsfdkljh

This just made everything better. 

(via whoavengelock)

3,765 notes

ablogaboutmen:

This Motherfucker is Simo Hayha
He was a simple finnish farmer, sounds dumb right?
Well it isn’t. 1939, ALONG COMES SOVIET RUSSIA TO FUCK SHIT UP.
SO WHAT DOES THIS FUCKER DO? RUN? NO.
He trots over to the forest in dead winter with a rifle and some food
perches in a tree
And starts to CAP every COMMIE MOTHERFUCKER in sight
IN -20 to -40 DEGREE TEMPERATURES.
He killed DOZENS of Russians and became known as ‘White Death’
He killed every task force they threw at his ass.
HE KILLED ENTIRE TROOPS OF COUNTER SNIPER TEAMS.
Over the course of 100 days, Hayha killed 542 people with his rifle. He took out another 150 or so with his SMG, sending his credited kill-count up to 705.
The Russians Carpet bombed where he was. Only his coat got damaged by shrapnel.
On march 6th 1940, Hayha was shot in the face by an explosive round by chance.
He was found by Finnish troops with half his face missing.
BUT HE REGAINED CONCIOUSNESS A WEEK LATER.
He did all this with a mandatory years training in the military.
What did you do with your life faggot?
705/10

ablogaboutmen:

This Motherfucker is Simo Hayha

He was a simple finnish farmer, sounds dumb right?

Well it isn’t. 1939, ALONG COMES SOVIET RUSSIA TO FUCK SHIT UP.

SO WHAT DOES THIS FUCKER DO? RUN? NO.

He trots over to the forest in dead winter with a rifle and some food

perches in a tree

And starts to CAP every COMMIE MOTHERFUCKER in sight

IN -20 to -40 DEGREE TEMPERATURES.

He killed DOZENS of Russians and became known as ‘White Death’

He killed every task force they threw at his ass.

HE KILLED ENTIRE TROOPS OF COUNTER SNIPER TEAMS.

Over the course of 100 days, Hayha killed 542 people with his rifle. He took out another 150 or so with his SMG, sending his credited kill-count up to 705.

The Russians Carpet bombed where he was. Only his coat got damaged by shrapnel.

On march 6th 1940, Hayha was shot in the face by an explosive round by chance.

He was found by Finnish troops with half his face missing.

BUT HE REGAINED CONCIOUSNESS A WEEK LATER.

He did all this with a mandatory years training in the military.

What did you do with your life faggot?

705/10


(via alastairmalcolm)

13,080 notes

My little boy David loves watching the Fantastic Four films, he especially loves Chris Evans and spends a lot of time playing at being Johnny Storm. I have to play the baddie and he defeats me. He’s got his walls covered with Johnny Storm pictures too and he knows all the lines. We were recently staying with my best friend Tom who lives in Manchester, England and found out that Chris Evans was coming to town. David was disappointed to find that we’d have already left before the film crew arrived so he sat down and made a card with some pictures for Chris Evans and wrote him a little note. I’ve never seen him sit so long at a table and concentrate! I wish I’d scanned it but I never thought. On the front he did a little picture of Johnny Storm flying across the sky and inside another picture of a scene from the first movie with some speech bubbles and he wrote a little note to Chris saying he was his favourite actor. His ‘uncle’ Tom promised he’d try to get it to Chris Evans for him. 

Tom took the card to the film site but security was so tight that he couldn’t get near anyone so he left the card with a note saying who it was from and that he was sorry not to get to take a photo for David’s birthday which was soon. The security guy told him to write down his address and he’d try to find someone to pass it to but made no promises as everything was crazy. That was on Friday 24th Sept. The following morning Tom received a special ‘next day delivery’ from Chris Evans! In it was a brilliant photo of Chris holding up David’s little card, a birthday card with a message from Chris Evans, he’d also signed two BluRay DVD covers with a little message on each for David. On one it said ‘FLAME ON!’ and was signed and on the other it said ‘DREAM BIG, BUDDY’ and was also signed. 

It was David’s birthday yesterday. When he saw the card from Chris he read it, looked up, read it again, asked us to read it for him then he just stared at it grinning just repeating, ‘‘really? not really! really? is it real?’’ When we told him what had happened he started to tremble a bit, ran to his room, ran back again and basically didn’t know where to put himself. He had actually seen the photo before his birthday but we’ve now had it framed and he knew about nothing else. For the rest of the day he kept running back to the card and picture to look at them for the millionth time. We haven’t been allowed to play the DVDs yet as they have to stay on display and no-one’s allowed to touch them. When he’d gone to bed at the end of the day, we were tidying the mess up and had a big panic because we couldn’t find the photo! We were just getting desperate when David’s older sister had an idea. She checked under his pillow and it was there! {x}

Genuinely, This brought a tear to my eye.

I love this man. My god, he is amazing.

(Source: corbits, via colouringink)

38,793 notes

h0peh:

niggakind:

benedick-cumbersnatch:

sailourjupita:

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan:

paperbunnyart:

…Adventure Time? Oh, hellz yeah!!

merlin omfg why

Burn Notice
I’m a super spy okay AWESOME

Legend of Korra aw yes I’M THE AVATAR YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT
i am dexter morgan, part-time blood spatter analyst for miami metro homicide, part-time serial killer
this is pretty much my real life anyway

Legend of Korra.
So, I’m a hot-headed 17 year old female who can bend the elements to my whim.
I likey.

Have I got News for You.
As narrated by William Shatner.
Holy corn-on-a-cob, my life is now complete!

h0peh:

niggakind:

benedick-cumbersnatch:

sailourjupita:

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan:

paperbunnyart:

…Adventure Time? Oh, hellz yeah!!

merlin omfg why

Burn Notice

I’m a super spy okay AWESOME

Legend of Korra aw yes I’M THE AVATAR YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT

i am dexter morgan, part-time blood spatter analyst for miami metro homicide, part-time serial killer

this is pretty much my real life anyway

Legend of Korra.

So, I’m a hot-headed 17 year old female who can bend the elements to my whim.

I likey.

Have I got News for You.

As narrated by William Shatner.

Holy corn-on-a-cob, my life is now complete!